It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
