You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
