So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
