so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
