im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
