the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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