going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
