Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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