Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
