insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the day after is always just damage control
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
