its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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