marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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