Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
