Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
