I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
