i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
