I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
