I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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