Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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