Pappa wants mamma naked
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm like, not good at living.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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