"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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