I can tuck mytits in my pants
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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