guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize