question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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