So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
