i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
