Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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