I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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