You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
