I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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