Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
