please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm at about main and main street
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
