I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
