Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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