The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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