uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
