i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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