Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
