we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize