After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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