all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Text me some of your sweat
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
