Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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