He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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