Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
