He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
