You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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