Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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