That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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