Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
