is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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