wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
