as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
