is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
