jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I supernannyed him into submission
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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