I wish I could teleport
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
worst night to have a conscience
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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