I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
