there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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