did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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