We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
