# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
